Why I Am I Even Here?

I am nothing

You wanted to know me

so I showed up

in the form of you

but you constantly reject yourself

You yearned to be an expression of love

so you chose the human vessel

and you were graciously offered gifts and talents

which you have gravely neglected

You desired to grow in spirit

so you were born with challenges to overcome

and here you are cursing me

for your life being too difficult

You longed for deeper wisdom

the earth provides this to you, in all its mystery

yet you spend your time being distracted by useless things

rather than exploring everything this gracious world has to offer you

You required depth for understanding

this is the reason for your broad spectrum of emotions

yet you drown out your deepest feelings

and hate the appointed ones who draw out emotional experiences for you

You asked to experience joy beyond measure

but joy is hidden beyond fear

Instead of walk through your fear

you have made a quaint little home there

You required to know the truth

so we set up a galactic scavenger hunt

to keep you on the path throughout your life

but you have completely disregarded this path of your soul

and you have focused on the physical

instead of the abstract

you are an artist

yet you’ve chosen to be a beggar

You believe the universe is outside of you

that everything you desire is out of reach

yet you fail to see

that you are the universe

so I cannot help you

until you look in the mirror

and finally see me

this is all up to you

Leading you to water here,
The Big HP

– J. L. Forbes

Good Ole Socrates Knew What He Was Talking About

Know Thyself
Some of us come to this earth out of the womb knowing exactly what we want to be when we grow up. My mom probably has hieroglyphic script scarred into her inner abdomen from my earliest writings. An artist knows her path without much outside influence. And then there are those who are born without direction who may feel like they came here without a purpose. Perhaps a purpose for being here doesn’t even occur to them. I don’t honestly know. I’ve always been a poet, a storyteller, a philosopher of sorts. I knew my purpose early on. I don’t know what it feels like to not have a craft, or if it even matters to those who don’t, but even if you are some artistic prodigy right out of the womb – until you know yourself, your craft may feel a bit unbridled and frivolous.

For those of you who don’t know your purpose in life (and if you even care) – we all have been given one unique thing in life. That one unique thing is yourself. If you spend your whole life trying to figure out who you are through the likes of other people, or by searching outside of yourself for answers, there will always be a sensation of feeling lost. If you feel lost, it is because you have not yet discovered yourself. Trust me, I know. I spent a good majority of my life feeling completely lost although I knew very well that I was a writer. Writing is just a tool that I use to channel my voice, but if I don’t know who I am, then how do I even know what I want to say? More often than not, I wrote from the point of view of other people, and a lot of times I plagiarized (in a sense) because I would read books and try to imitate those author’s writings and voices. My writing did not become organic until I took an interest in myself. When I decided to put down the bottle of booze and began learning to treat myself with respect and love, I discovered that my inner child (my soul) was the one thing I’d been searching for all along. I wasn’t lost simply because I was an alcoholic. I was lost because I detached from my essence when I was twelve. That innocent part of me simply wasn’t “cool” when I was trying to fit in with my peers, so I left her behind and molded myself into what I thought would be acceptable to others. I was a fish out of water trying to breathe in air. It never worked for me, but I spent over twenty years trying to develop lungs in place of the gills. This became incredibly gruesome in my thirties. People began catching on that I was a charade, so through the gift of recovery, I made my way back into my natural environment. Here I am now without a doubt of who I am and what I am doing while I am alive. I got to know myself, you see, which is an ongoing process. Each human being is an entire universe. Explore that universe. Discover your essence. Be a physicist and get to the bottom of yourself where you will discover that you are everything. This is the purpose of your life. This is what we should all be doing.

To “know thyself” is a powerful statement of action. It sounds a bit self-centered, doesn’t it? But truthfully when you come to love yourself in a genuine manner, you learn to practice compassion for your faults. You learn to not take yourself so seriously, and you chuckle instead of condemn yourself for being human. This self-love is a gift to others because once we know who we are, we understand who each human being is and we are able to love our neighbors with the same kind of compassion as we have for ourselves. Jesus knew what he was talking about too, when he gave that one commandment to “Love God with all your mind, your heart and your soul, and love thy neighbor as yourself.” To honor yourself is to honor your Creator, and to love yourself, is to love God. To love yourself is to love others. This statement Jesus made was symbiotic. Love is circular – global actually. The universe was created in love, and everything in the universe is cyclical. On a smaller scale, this love we learn to have for ourselves has a cyclical effect on those around us. It is the ripple effect we so often hear about (one act of kindness extends out unto the world).

What does it mean to “know thyself?” Yes. Continue asking this question and allow it to lead you to the answer. The only thing we all should be doing, is being ourselves. This is the soul purpose of each human being. We come to earth in this body. We leave the body behind when we die. In the meantime, we should know that our body is a temple – the dwelling place of our essence (our soul). The human body should always be searching for its beautiful soul while it is alive. Remember in ‘Finding Nemo’ how Dori forgot who she was, and Marlin was there to remind her. This relationship between Marlin and Dori was a beautiful analogy of the dance between the body and the soul. Keep re-connecting to yourself and discovering who you are. Align with that essence and unify with that inner light. We all have it. That light will lead the way (just like Dori intuitively lead the way for Marlin), and you will never feel lost again. Remember when Dori told Marlin that he just “felt like home?” Yeah, Pixar is pretty deep. Going home has nothing to do with entering heaven upon death. It has everything to do with the soul uniting with the body right now. This is the truth in the words of Socrates, “Know Thyself.” And the message of Christ, “Love Thyself.” More than anything – BE Thyself.

Awareness + Openness + Acceptance x Unabashed Faith = Abundance

Financial Abudance
Many of us go out and search the world for answers to big questions. I’ve been to many churches, several temples, inside a thousand books, and out in nature seeking some sort of “truth.” Truth is exactly like a firefly in daylight. You may get a glimpse (every now and again) of the notion of truth, but truth is not something you can capture eternally. Truth is perpetually on the move. It’s taunting and playful and wants to be followed. To walk toward the spark of truth is to walk an invisible path of insurmountable light. At some point I realized that truth is an experience, rather than an actual point of knowing.

There are many religions and beliefs, but I no longer subscribe to man’s ideas about life. If you were to ask an ant how he views the world, you would immediately discover (as a human being) that the ant’s perception is incredibly limited. He knows nothing about something greater occurring outside of his colony. When breadcrumbs fall, he gathers them and takes them home. I doubt very seriously the ant ever worries about running out of food. The ant trusts that there is an abundance of food, and even if he doesn’t know what abundance is, the ant still never worries about starvation or death, or anything for that matter because the ant is simply “being.”

In the grand scheme of the universe, human beings are even smaller than an ant. Yes, we have something greater than an insect – we have the ability to conceptualize, philosophize and create, but our perception of life is still very limited, no doubt. We also carry around a lot of fear which limits the way we navigate in our lives. Instead of stepping out into the wide open world and experiencing all that is offered to us, we often play it safe. I’m learning more and more to get up on stage in front of people I do not know, just to sing a song, or to read one of my poems. Before I get up there my mind tells me all kinds of awful things and brings back horrible memories of me messing up in front of a crowd, but then I pretend that this is my last day on Earth (because “now” is all we have) and I get up there and I do my best, and it feels so liberating. Instead of feeding off of the crowd, I began experiencing my own self up there, who goes from completely shy and awkward, to excited and carefree. I stopped limiting myself to what my fears tell me, and I’ve learned to stop comparing myself to others. Self-acceptance has been my biggest challenge over the last three+ years of sobriety. And as I have begun accepting myself, I have become much more accepting of others. In fact, I’m much more interested in other people’s differences – because they obviously have something to teach me about life that I don’t already know.

It is difficult for me to tell people what religion I subscribe to. I grew up Christian, walked a few miles as an Agnostic, dabbled in Buddhism and have discovered myself (without even knowing it) following the path of a Shaman and eventually coming to a very Hindu understanding of life. Regardless of all of my “religious” costume changes, the one thing I have never left behind was my faith in something greater occurring than what I see. Even as a momentary Agnostic, I was still chasing the firefly. Come to find out, “Agnostic” simply means that a person doesn’t claim to know anything ultimately. Being Agnostic is being aware that there is no ultimate answer. So it comes back around to awareness, which is basically a place in which all things are possible. This is a very liberating place to be. This is the dwelling place of abundance. If all things are possible, then nothing is impossible. How cool is that?

The Buddhist understanding of life was interesting to me until I discovered that Buddhists don’t put much weight on desire. In fact, The Buddha pretty much tells us that desire creates suffering. To some extent, this is true, but because I am extremely curious, I don’t just buy into something without exploring it thoroughly. If it were not for human desire, the world would lack creativity. Creativity creates worlds, therefore I believe what The Buddha was saying was that we should learn to make peace with what is – to be in acceptance of all things that we encounter, rather than desiring a different result. Desire can take away from the present moment, which is all there truly is. Like everything in life, we must learn a balance between what is now, and creating the life that is ahead. When a desire suddenly comes to me (as it so often does), I trust now that it’s the universe nudging me forward toward that desire. My decisions right now, are often influenced by that desire. Whatever that desire of mine is, has already been granted you see. It’s merely awaiting my awareness, openness and acceptance. When I follow this unabashed faith of mine – what always follows is abundance. And what I have learned is not to expect things the way my limited mind projects what it thinks it wants. I have learned to be open, and to receive life however it presents itself to me, because, again, my perception is very small. Most of the time, what life offers me (when I am aware, open and accepting) is something much greater than I ever expected.

Right this very second is abundant. Look around you. Find gratitude in the bold taste of coffee, or in the morning sunlight. Be aware of the clothes on your body and the people who offer you a genuine smile. Tune into laughter, feel the skin on the hand that shakes your hand, look deep into the eyes of your lover. Life is now. It’s not ten minutes from now. It’s not when Jesus comes back. It’s not when Obama leaves office. It’s not when your bills are all paid. It’s the purring cat, the chirping birds, the cars driving by. We live in a universe of abundance. You are never apart from that abundance unless you are looking somewhere outside of right now. Somewhere in this illusion of time, we will learn to enjoy the firefly in all it’s movement, rather than wasting this moment trying to capture it.


Seriously… Walk in Your Freedom, Man – I Mean, Literally BE SET FREE!

Be Free
Forget the past. I’m not kidding. The Universe does not refer to the past while it’s delivering the present. The PRESENT! Do you get it? Right this very second is a gift, and it’s not laced with anything that has to do with your past mistakes (unless of course you’re stuck in the past. Unless of course your thoughts keep taking you back there. Your thoughts create your experience. And if you don’t trust the law of attraction phenomenon, take one week to step out of your belief system and practice changing all your thoughts to positive ones. Shit, take a month – you’ll never doubt again). The question that has been stirring within me for the last year has been my very own demise toward receiving the magnificent gift of freedom. The excitement that fills me now as I write this – oh man!

You see, I did a little experiment this week after finally receiving my answer through a guest on my favorite radio show. First of all, my question was this:

“Do I need to drudge through all my past mistakes in order to receive the yearning of my heart? Do I need to really look at that stuff and tediously manage through everything? People always say that there are no short cuts in life, and though I’m not looking for a short cut, I somehow feel like I’m being held back from receiving. It’s like everything I desire is twenty feet away and I’m running toward it on a treadmill. Perhaps it’s because I was so irresponsible for so many years, and now I’m just paying for it. I deserve this, right? I deserve to struggle because I was completely irresponsible… is that how it works?”

The answer is this – Only if you so choose.

I decided to get of the treadmill. I decided that it can’t hurt to walk completely in my freedom for a week. So I pretended that I was not bound to my past (“act as if”) this last week. I unchained myself from my own repetitive thoughts. I stopped thinking – literally just stopped thinking about what I figure that I deserve. I stopped referring to my mistakes of the past; the way I handled things and how it’s affecting me now. This has a lot to do with money (if you haven’t already figured that out). I imagined taking off a metal cloak that has been blocking me from receiving. I laid it down on the ground, kept my head forward and trusted that I was set free from that ugly old thing. And guess what? I not only felt set free, I am set free. There is no past. The past is a big fat illusion. I’m not kidding. It’s like each moment that I walk in the light of my freedom, the universe is giving me a galactic sized hug. It’s saying “FINALLY! YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT! YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS! WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG!”

This whole time – this last three years – I’ve been walking in like three quarters of my freedom, with one fourth of me still stuck in the past because I didn’t trust that I was allowed to be so radically set free. I was punishing myself, and I accepted that I deserved to struggle. That was my thinking. Well, just so you know, the universe doesn’t think like that. In fact, the universe of ultimate abundance doesn’t think at all. It merely delivers.

All I can say right now, is change your thinking. Know that you are not chained to your past. Understand that you do not need to accept any kind of struggle. You do not need to suffer for your mistakes. Be aware of your mistakes. Take responsibility for your mistakes by acknowledging them – even write them down if it makes you feel better, but then really let them go and walk in your freedom from them. If you don’t trust this, then do a little experiment like I did. It won’t hurt you to change your thinking for one week. Once you realize that you are not bound to the past, and that you can have exactly the life that you want (that you are so deserving of), you won’t go back to that old way of thinking. This is about stepping out of your fear, into the light. It is about being set free (completely set free), and it begins with the way you think. Don’t be shackled to your way of thinking. Don’t let other people’s idea of how the world works effect your ultimate freedom. In fact, forget everything other people say. And one more word of advice – when magic starts happening for you, don’t expect the hammer to come crashing down. Disregard that old pattern of thinking too. Tell the hammer to take hike. Don’t invite it into your experience by expecting it to arrive. Be set free! Walk in the light of your life – starting immediately! AHHHH, it feels SO DAMN GOOD! FINALLY!

What if Missing Keys Are Revelation of an Inner Storm?


What if you woke up knowing that you were surrounded in an abundance of unconditional love?  What if you walked outside your door each day walking in the light of this limitless love?  What if, rather than worry, you chose to be in complete acceptance; and what if instead of blocking out the negative aspects the day, you chose to embrace all the positives?  What if the negatives were actually positives in disguise?  Perhaps a co-worker is bringing up raw emotion in you to shine a light on something you need to balance within yourself, or quite possibly, everything keeps going wrong today to wake you up to the present moment… because you’ve been lost in your head lately.  I would be thanking the universe rather than cursing under your breath.  Sometimes we are so blind.

It’s clear to me that the Hermetic Philosophy “as above, so below” is even more intricate in design than I could ever fathom, and it’s revealing itself in ways that blow my mind.  The clouds, for instance, often block the sun, but the sun is always there regardless of the movement of the clouds.  In my own body, the clouds are my negative thinking and the sun is my soul.  When I am in a state of fear, I imagine that my body is weathering a storm.  It is difficult to see the light when the inner clouds are heavy with doubt or distraught with terror about my future, but the second I open up my heart to the moment that I am in (which is me just sitting in a chair with no goblins jumping out at me) the sun breaks through and a rainbow begins to appear.  I’m touching my desk, enjoying a glass of water and everything around me is perfectly still.  The storm clouds begin breaking apart when I become aware of the actual moment, rather than lingering inside of my own personal fears.  And then there is that understanding that I am loved beyond measure, which means that I am never truly in harms way.  My well-being is always considered, so I should be aware of this when I think that the world is out to get me.  My own thoughts are often a treacherous hurricane, but my awareness of them is the sudden shift in weather patterns.  I can turn the hurricane away simply by shining light on it.

Lately I’ve been trying to walk in this light of love and trusting that when I walk outside my door, the world is embracing me, rather than buying into my thoughts that something could go wrong.  I’ve begun opening myself up to trusting that people in my life are there guiding me along my path instead of worrying about how they judge me.  Since I’ve been doing this, I’ve noticed a dramatic shift in my experience with people.  They seem to be more accepting of me, and interested in me.  My own personal fear of judgment has been blocking them from being present with me.  How can they see my light if I am weathering an inner storm?  We walk around in a very shallow state, but when we become aware and open, it clears the way for others.  I’m having this experience in every aspect of my life, from co-workers to family to neighbors.  I’m opening up and so are the people around me.  The storm clouds are parting and the town is coming out to play.  We don’t realize how much the world reflects our inner state of being.  It’s pretty incredible.

To be present not only means to get out of my head and to feel the wood on my desk beneath my hands; it means to know exactly what comes up for me when I encounter life in the moment.  Does the slow traffic bring up anger?  Then forget the traffic and notice the anger.  Does a friend bring up jealousy?  Forget the friend and regard the envy.  Does a lack of money bring up worry?  Forget the money.  The lack thereof is a gift.  Enter into the worry and deal with it.  The worry is a blockage in your life, holding you back from receiving that which awaits your awareness. Once you shake hands with your negative emotions, the world will have room to move into the direction of abundance.  In our fears (anger, jealousy, anxiety) we block out the abundance of sunlight.  Open yourself up to love and discover yourself liberated.  

We believe that being present simply means smelling the roses, but it also means being aware of the storm clouds within.  I’ve been noticing each fear that comes up for me throughout the day.  The moment I give it attention, the quicker it flees.  I feel like I’m playing hide-n-seek with my soul.  The fear is coming up sporadically like shifty clouds in an early spring sky, but the light is always present.  I’ve just got to look past those pesky clouds.  Give them attention and then tell them to move on. 

Accept the abundance of love in your life whether it comes from a person, or simply from knowing that it’s embracing you and limitless.  You are the only thing in the way of that eternal light.  It’s certainly working for me.  I’m filled with much more joy, and enjoying simple things with such gratitude that I could cry.  As I’m concluding this blog, the sun is rising and shining upon me.  Coincidence?  I think not. 

Thank you to my readers on Facebook, in Indonesia, Australia and in the Philippines.  Here is a link to my FB page.  https://www.facebook.com/pages/JL-Forbes/162173573982070?ref=hl  Please feel free to like it!  Blessings to you today!    






To Capture a Drop of Water in an Endless Ocean


I love words, but most of the time they get in the way of something beyond them.  This goes for conversation, as well as books, poetry, scripture and the messages in movies.  We’re easily seduced by lavish exteriors, rather than seeking out the essence of things.  As a storyteller, I embellish in creating very elaborate scenarios to dress up very simple truths.  This is what storytellers do because the truth is something that you can’t put your finger on.  Without a story to encompass the truth, the truth is a drop of water in a mighty ocean.  The truth needs a shell to capture it, even if only for a moment.  It is always up to the observer or reader to notice the truth in a movie or a book, but this doesn’t always happen, so storytellers continue telling stories.  The truth isn’t just one thing.  It’s everything, but there are various ways to present it. It comes in the form of joy, of heartache, of unconditional love, etc., to which artists frame their work around, so that everyone has a chance to discover truth in their own unique way. “To each his own.” 

We all come here without much expectation, but when the expectation is developed, we discover ourselves with a insatiable hunger for life.  Instead of noticing that we simply desire joy, we follow the herd and go after things that look like they would contain joy.  Family is one of those things that appears to deliver joy.  A marriage, some kids, a home, the suburbs, a career that seals the deal; it’s seductive, but so often it doesn’t deliver and we find ourselves trying to pinpoint the next best thing, or perhaps we self-destruct when the hopelessness overcome us.  I envy families that are filled with love and acceptance.  I come from a broken family, in every which way I turn.  I suppose this is the kind of family I chose to enter into in this lifetime, so that I could realize my own essence.  I see a lot of people who are so content in life because their families are “perfect.”  They don’t need to search beyond their home to find joy or truth.  It’s offered to them through the love they’ve graciously been given in their family sphere, but so many of us do not have this.  Even when we try to create it, it falls short because the brokenness is a pattern.  I’m trying to break that pattern, not by creating wholeness through an alternate family, but by mending the brokenness in myself so that it can extend outward.  I guess I see myself as kind of a nucleus so that my children can branch off from me and together we can – perhaps begin again with a new family template.

Because of the severe brokenness of my immediate surroundings, I have always searched for wholeness.  Something sustainable so that I could stand on my own two feet and count on myself rather than falling into the hands of those that are broken, because the unpredictability of a broken family is an unravelling rug beneath your feet.  I needed to find a rug that didn’t unravel.  This has always been very important to me, but it’s been a long journey and sometimes I get very tired of knitting my own rug.  I often feel very alone and incredibly heartbroken.  Sometimes I just feel empty, which is why it’s important to me now, to notice that emptiness in myself and to allow it to be there without trying to fill it with some unsustainable magical feeling.  When the magic leaves (which it always does), the void inside of me becomes even more daunting and infinite.  It has been terrible life of highs and lows which has finally lost its appeal.

I’ve practically been to the moon and back searching for truth.  If I can only have that morsel of sustainable joy, I would be ok… you know?  So I held onto everything in my life that promised to deliver the truth, but each of those things crumbled beneath me.  I could make a list here, but that would be tedious and I’m certain you know what sort of things promise to deliver truth.  Truth is such a subjective thing, which is why searching for it has been described as chasing a white rabbit down the rabbit hole.  It can never be captured, at least not permanently.  You get a glimpse of it here and there, and sometimes it besieges you, but it moves on and implores you to follow its path, and I keep following because the path is the one thing that has been sustainable. 

I realize now that I can never capture the truth.  I can’t frame it and hold it up for the world to see, so I keep telling stories.  The rug beneath me is always just right at the tips of my toes, being created as I walk along in blind faith.  The rug was never laid out for me like the red carpet is for Hollywood celebrities, and family has been always been a shifty foundation in my life.  The path to truth is completely invisible, but it somehow gives me incredible balance that I have never had before.  When I’m focused on the truth, and walking along the path in its wake, I’m extremely aware of myself.  You see, I could easily slip off the path if I turn slightly to the left in awe of something magical.  Those shiny exteriors are always trying to tempt me, but I know now that once I step off this path, I’m subject to losing sight of the truth which beckons me.  I don’t want to do that anymore because the void is terrifying. 

The path is not impressive to those who are not on the path.  The path is a lonely walk more often than not.  The path doesn’t embrace me.  It expects me to embrace its way without expectation of ever capturing the truth.  And this is what it’s like to have searched the world for truth, only to discover that I was merely looking for an invisible path, which is somehow significant, and incredibly vague. Wisdom, love, joy, truth… it’s all the same thing, but it’s the feeling of wholeness provided by these simple treasures which keeps me walking along this invisible path.


For the Love of Superman’s Underpants!


At last night’s meeting, the topic was, “How do you relate to your higher power?”  The speaker was very curious about this, and clearly wanted some answers.  A lot of people raised their hands including me because we all wanted to give the speaker a big dose of what God is to each of us, as if the poor sap was suddenly going to be pointed in the right direction because of some white-light epiphany I had three years ago.  The answers we gave went from one end of the spectrum to the other, from the agnostic who believes God doesn’t exist, all the way down to the religious freak.  I’m not making fun.  I should have kept my mouth shut on the topic.  I mean… whatever I think God is… isn’t.  How ignorant of me to pontificate about God.  There truly are no words.  If anything, once that question was asked, we should have sat in silence and allowed the man to understand that the question is completely irrelevant.

Why do we need to know what God is?  It’s like the fundamental question we all carry around while the answer is never apart from us, yet there is no answer.  It’s like trying to hold love inside the palm of your hand.  It’s not tangible, and there are no words to describe love or that even come close to honoring the topic.  It’s a powerful void of both nothing and everything, but what does that even mean?  I guess what I’m trying to say is that God is a lot like love, and also, God IS love (but here I am wrong again).  God is an experience, and it’s not the kind of experience you have once in a while; it’s an experience you have each moment of everyday, but until you are awake to it, there is nothing to talk about.  Even when you are awake to it, there is still nothing to talk about because if someone else isn’t experiencing God, then anything you say will come out sounding like fairy dust from a sappy Disney film.  It’s all irrelevant.

Sometimes I go to Buddhist temples to sit because I have a difficult time disciplining myself enough to meditate at home, even though there are no excuses.  While I’m there, I look around and observe the clutter of statues, paintings, offerings and ridiculous Buddha faces.  It occurs to me that this is the exact opposite of what Buddha would have wanted.  I mean, if the guy is reincarnated, I wouldn’t doubt that he is a raging alcoholic doing Scooby-Doo shots in a dive bar somewhere in Italy where Buddhism is obsolete, trying to forget about the impact he had on the world.  But then again, perhaps the clutter inside the temples is there to make fun of humanity’s attempt to find God in something other than in a room filled with nothing.  I’ve read that this is exactly why the temples are done up so fantastically.  For Buddha’s sake, and for Jesus’s sake (because I go to church sometimes too), I’m embarrassed.  But I know neither of them honestly give two shits about decorated crosses and golden statues like I do.

The same goes for many people out there who the masses follow, as if they are holier than the guy eating out of the garbage can. Not true. Deepak Chopra scratches his rear end. I swear to Superman’s Underpants that I saw it on a documentary. He is a human being just like you and me, with many faults. We blindly follow people because we believe that they’ve found something that we haven’t.  Let me tell you something… if you haven’t found truth, you’re not going to find it through a preacher, a teacher, a “prophet,” a church or a temple.  That’s the bottom line.  The truth is not a man who died on a cross for your sins, and the truth is not anything His Holiness, the Dali lama has to offer you.  I know this for a fact because I followed these so-called truths for years and failed my life miserably, just like so many other people do. Truth transforms people to a degree that sets them apart from the rest of the world, yet it’s incredibly subtle, and they certainly don’t go around calling themselves prophets. Most people I know who say they’ve got the truth, are still pretty miserable, and they continue to suffer. If you find yourself suffering, I hate to break it to ya (not really), but you aren’t living in truth. If you’re looking for the truth so that you can remain sober, you’re going to end up drinking again, and if you think you’ve got it, I guarantee you don’t.  This is coming from a person who used to think I had all the answers.  Nobody has answers because the question about God is irrelevant.

Confusing, huh?  Good.  It’s just that we say things so bluntly and assuredly, like we KNOW the truth (including me – prime example last night at the meeting).  If you really KNOW the truth, you certainly aren’t talking about it.  If anything, you’re leading people to the truth by NOT talking about it at all.  That’s the truth.  The real prophets are the ones who leave people standing there in a stupor with themselves, questioning the very ground they are standing upon.  That’s the real deal.  The people who tell you that they can lead you to God… Those idiots might as well be handing out superman costumes and telling you that if you put them on, you will suddenly be powerful.  It’s all a load of shit.

God isn’t the truth you are looking for (that is, if you are looking for truth) because God can’t be found.  The answers we seek, answer themselves each moment of everyday without a doubt.  It’s simply something you’ve got to realize for yourself, and if you really want it, you will realize it.  If you would rather dance in fairy dust and sing Disney songs hoping for some white-light answer to your questions, well, I’m sure you will find that too, but I guarantee once the brilliant moment passes, you will be left standing there in reality with even more questions hammering at you.  I just wanted to put this out there today because I’ve been wrong all along.  I’ve been pontificating God, while I still had so many questions.  It’s when we stop asking questions, that we begin living in the answers.  That’s the damn bottom line.





Being Open to Receiving and How it All Works


I talk a lot about intuition in my blog, and all my life I’ve been curious about the inner workings of the universe.  While I was growing up, I always wanted to spend a week on an Indian reservation, dancing around fires, and learning the ways of the people closest to the earth and nature.  Something inside pulled me to that organic culture; the great wisdom that has nearly been abolished by our western “civilization.”  I’ve never been a big fan of buildings and malls.  I suppose (being a free-spirit and all…) walls were never my thing.  At church camp each summer, I was in my element, and while other kids snuck away to smoke cigarettes, I was ditching out of daily competitions to go hiking in the woods.  I followed the beat of my own drum, which made me kind of a weird kid, but as I got older, drinking was a perfect elixir.  It was what helped me feel like I fit in. 

Now that I’m comfortable in my own skin, I’m able to walk (or dance) to the beat of my own drum without feeling insecure about what other people think of me.  Becoming an adult is like getting a free pass to relax.  If people don’t like me, it’s not like I’m stuck in an institution for four years with them, worried about being ridiculed.  I was never really ridiculed anyway.  Having a pen and paper in my hand at all times allowed me to express myself quietly without exposing myself to the world.  Now behind my little tablet and keyboard, I do the same exact thing, but I’m not afraid to share my thoughts these days.  It is much more acceptable now, that people are genuine.  Even television shows have gotten more “real.”  We aren’t all hiding behind a look-good exterior as we once used to in this society.  People are waking up (slowly), but we are finally allowed to be ourselves.  Even in professional settings, people have relaxed a lot more.  It’s a different world we’re living in, where secrets are difficult to hide.  Social media has offered me something I never had as a child, which is the opportunity to share my experience, strength and hope to people just like me.

I listen to a lot of “underground” radio shows and read a bit of non-conventional news, because you simply cannot trust the mainstream madness for any real truth of what’s going on in the world.  I like to know what’s really going on out there.  There is so much occurring all at once, it’s difficult to take it all in.  Physics has always interested me, and one of the radio shows I listen to brings on guests that keep the “people” in the loop about current discoveries and developments.  One of those discoveries (which has been experimented with since the sixties) is an etheric library that encapsulates all living things.  With this etheric library, people are able to tap into the past, present and future, which explains precognition, psychic experiences and wisdom that often comes out of nowhere.  I wrote a book once, that poured out of me so quickly, I could hardly keep up with the words as they flowed through my fingers.  The information that came to me was stuff I didn’t even know about, but later discovered that it was “right on.”  People do this all the time, but we weren’t told about this etheric library that has records of each moment occurring, and cosmically calculates the future.  It’s like a blanket of endless information that we can tap into at any given time.  Human beings are electromagnetic antennas, and have the ability to receive and transmit information all day long.  They use this in the military, but these findings are top secret because the world is always in a state of war.  Leaking out these dynamic discoveries, sadly places us in grave danger.

It’s a lot to take in, so I’m not going to elaborate on this “cosmic library” we all have access to tap into.  It simply makes sense to me, and it’s extremely exciting, so I wanted to share it.  I’m still learning about it and finding out all I can about the way things work in this world.  We underestimate the power that is within us to do greater things with our lives.  We undervalue ourselves, and look to others for acceptance.  Sadly, those other people undervalue themselves as well.  It’s time we discover the greatness that lies within each one of us.  We aren’t in an assembly line here, with random moments of bliss.  The bliss is everywhere, if we could only become aware of the grand illusion of the physical realm, which often points to something greater occurring. 

I just wanted to share this today because this kind of stuff is what gets me excited to wake up in the morning.  The world is an endless learning experience, and I feel like there’s not enough time to take it all in.  As we all go about our lives today, let us look past the nonsense, and seek beyond the physical walls before us.  Let us be open to receiving everything that is available right now.  It’s our human right to reach for the stars and to live out our dreams, and now it’s been scientifically proven that we have access to literally everything.


Enlightening Up After Breaking-Up (A new book by J.L. Forbes available on Kindle)

Enlightening Up Cover