Self-Love and Self-Acceptance is Not Just About Rockin’ the Curves

All about the bass

As catchy as this tune is, it still reinforces that women should feel good about their bodies because men like them a certain way.  “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night…” REALLY?!  As a full grown woman in this twisted-ass society, I am so SICK of feeling like I have to impress men with my body, or even worse – get their acceptance of MY BODY.  I’ve done the math and figured out that the men who are attracted to me for my body – no matter if it’s when I’m thin as a rail, thick and curvy from being bloated from drinking, a little chubby from depression eating, or fit and athletic looking – those men are scumbags.  I’ve had all the body types with the exception of being obese (because I’ve been a consciously healthy eater throughout my life), and I’m going to be brave and admit right now that in all of my ever-changing wardrobes from size 0 to size 12, I’ve always been concerned about how I appeared to men.  Throughout my womanhood I’ve been hit on by married men, arrogant asshole men, men hanging out of their low-riding cars flashing their grills making cat calls, old men, much-too-young men, and “sophisticated” men.  For YEARS this made me feel good about myself.  BARF!  Here is what I want to say to those men – I NO LONGER NEED YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF ME TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL.  FUCK OFF ALREADY!

I used to look in the mirror and detest my freckles.  I spent hundreds of dollars and too many years trying to hide my natural, lovely freckles.  When I got to rehab for alcoholism (because I completely self-destructed while trying to live up to other people’s standards) – for SIX MONTHS I was not allowed to wear make-up. So guess what?  I had to either accept my freckles or spend the entire time obsessing about them.  I chose to accept them, and the funny thing was, no one cared about my damn freckles.  The only thing I ever heard about my freckles from my peers was how darned cute they were.  I began looking in the mirror and seeing what other people saw – a confident woman who had more on her mind than appearing perfect. In that six month period where I was not the center of attention for once, I learned to love my face without the make-up.  I noticed the kindness behind my amber eyes and the way they smiled when I smiled.  I noticed my dimples and the radiance of my ivory skin – all the things I’d never noticed about myself before because I was too busy trying to cover up my freckles.

When I accepted my freckles I stopped caring what other people thought about them.  The obsession was gone.  I could finally walk around without make-up not thinking anything about the spots on my face. What freedom! How liberating! It took thirty-five flippen years for me to get to that place, but the last thing I’m going to ever say to my daughter about this is, “Men love freckles, so you should embrace them.”  Oh HELL NO.  It doesn’t matter what men think of my freckles.  I LOVE my freckles.  That’s all that matters.

Same goes for the ole’ body.  I’ve had body image problems all my life just like the rest of the women in society.  I still do, but I am working on overcoming them and I take care of my body because I not only want to look good – I also want to feel good for as long as possible.  Several years ago I went and had breast implants because I felt like my shoulders were too broad for my size B-cup boobs.  I was very insecure about my breasts, especially because I noticed that most men were into larger breasts.  I tell people I had this surgery done for myself, but the truth is, I wanted to feel better about myself through the likes of men, and I also wanted to appear more confident than I felt inside.  Instead of accepting my body the way it was, I transformed it.  I don’t exactly have regrets, but often I notice the way men look at them and sexualize me rather than notice other things about me, like how I articulate myself.  I have gotten to a place in my life where I do not think much about my breasts at all.  More important to me is how present I am in any given situation.  I think about the state of my soul more than I care about the way my breasts appear.  I care about laughing and about noticing the beauty in the world.  I care about what comes up for me emotionally through the mirrors of other people.  The inner body is much more real to me than the one that is going to eventually grow old and wither.  When I go out in the world now, I am not thinking about attracting men.  I am much more interested in the magic of being alive.  I am fulfilled as a human being – as a confident woman.  I no longer need the acceptance of a man to help me feel good, or better about myself.  In fact, there hasn’t been a man yet who’s come along and offered me more confidence and love than I have for myself today.

I’ve had plenty of boyfriends who’ve told me I was beautiful when I didn’t think I was beautiful, and their compliments never penetrated my being the way I feel about myself now. Some of those men did not hesitate to tear me apart when our relationship was not working out in the end. If I had valued myself through their lustful eyes, I would have also devalued myself when they were knocking me down. I knew better. I knew I was worth more than a man’s shifty opinion of me.

How did I get to the point of genuine self-acceptance? I stopped fucking lying to myself about everything.  I looked past my facade. I stopped acting happy when I was angry.  I stopped “being nice” when I was feeling annoyed.  I began knowing myself through the wave of my emotions.  I listened to my negative thinking and got interested in my behaviors.  I stopped conforming to the outside world and became a watcher of my inner world.  I stopped distracting myself from my pain and began sitting with the pain.  It fucken hurt and I continued sitting with it.  I cried a lot.  I stopped being fake and just started getting real with myself.  I stopped telling myself that I was all of these positive things that were not true, including the one where I said I felt good about myself.  I was a liar.  I was a manipulator.  I was scared as shit about everything and everyone. I hated myself. I hated myself. I hated myself. I rejected myself although I spent years perfecting an image that looked like I was incredibly confident about who I was. All lies. I was terrified.

Stop worrying about shedding weight and begin focusing on shedding all the bullshit you tell yourself. You are not a victim. If you haven’t FELT yourself through your emotions, then you don’t know yourself, and if you don’t know yourself, you cannot accept yourself.  Stop hiding from your pain.  When people brought up raw emotion for me, I thought they were my enemies until I realized that the raw emotion was mine. If pain was coming up for me through other people’s words, then those people were merely guides pointing me back to myself so that I could see myself for what I was.  I stopped running from the raw emotion and began getting curious about it.  It came up for me a lot – for several years – and sometimes it still comes up, but I don’t reject it or resist it anymore.  I welcome it.  I welcome it because it’s coming up so that it can clear out, so that I can be the whole person that I truly am.  I faced myself.  I faced my demons.  I stopped being afraid of the inner universe and began exploring it.  THAT’s how I’ve come to love myself.  That’s how I’ve learned acceptance for ME. 

When people poke and prod at me now, and bring up things I used to be insecure about – I can actually laugh with them instead of getting defensive.  YES I know I’m controlling.  HA HA HA!  Yes these boobs are fake! Ha! I know that about myself and I am working on the character defects, but you cannot hurt me by pointing them out.  I’m aware of these things about myself and I accept myself for all of my character defects.  After all, they are not who I am. I’m growing every day and walking more and more in the awareness of my soul, rather than in the fragments of my mind.  So again, I don’t give a shit about what men think about me or my body.  I don’t even think of men much anymore (not that I’ve gone rebelliously lesbian – I’ve just got a lot more going on now than needing a man in my life).  I’ve never gotten my confidence through them.  Through facing myself in all my emotional facets – through being aware of my thought patterns and behaviors – I’ve become not only confident about myself, I’ve also discovered my wholeness and completeness.

“Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top,” may sound good in theory, but I seriously doubt it rings true to many women out there because many of us are lying to ourselves about how we truly feel inside.  And if you don’t feel good on the inside, you cannot feel genuinely good about what you’re rocking on the outside.  Do you even know how you appear to others when you look perfect on the outside, yet you lack inner confidence? You look like an insecure, self-centered narcissist who spends way too much time in the mirror. People see right through that shit and it is incredibly unattractive.

Self-awareness is the path to self-acceptance.  It takes a lot of work and a lot of courage to enter into yourself, but if you want to walk out of your house each morning not just saying you’re confident, but actually BEING confident, take the inner journey.  Be the brave and self-assured woman that you claim you are.  Put your money where your mouth is.  Take a full inventory of yourself and after you realize who you really are beneath the façade, you will discover that you are lacking NOTHING.  You are EVERYTHING my dear, but it’s up to you to truly FEEL this about yourself instead of just portraying it to the world.  When you truly accept yourself, and truly love who you are, you will see through people’s bullshit like never before, and all those men that you long to attract now will seem like monkeys to you at that point.  You will realize how absurd it is to get acceptance from people who do not even truly accept themselves. You’ll understand how much more you deserve and you will value yourself enough to stay single until the right person comes along and enhances what you already have.  You don’t need a man to validate you.  You need to stop listening to these ridiculous songs about rocking your curves for the boys, and get beneath the skin of yourself.  Transform yourself from the inside out and your beautiful soul will eventually shine through.

P.S. For men reading this who feel yourself offended, you need to do an inventory of yourself too. Women have been defining themselves through the eyes of men for way too long, and if you haven’t noticed this planet is unbalanced as hell. Stop sexulizing everything. Utilize your life for something worth living for, which is certainly not just sex. Make something of yourself. God gave you a whole body and mind, yet all you think about is your penis and what turns you on. We are over it already. While you’ve been jacking-off to porn, this world has gone to shit. There are greater things to accomplish in this lifetime. Wake the fuck up.

http://www.amazon.com/J.L.-Forbes/e/B00HS980ZI/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1414348436&sr=1-1

Good Ole Socrates Knew What He Was Talking About

Know Thyself
Some of us come to this earth out of the womb knowing exactly what we want to be when we grow up. My mom probably has hieroglyphic script scarred into her inner abdomen from my earliest writings. An artist knows her path without much outside influence. And then there are those who are born without direction who may feel like they came here without a purpose. Perhaps a purpose for being here doesn’t even occur to them. I don’t honestly know. I’ve always been a poet, a storyteller, a philosopher of sorts. I knew my purpose early on. I don’t know what it feels like to not have a craft, or if it even matters to those who don’t, but even if you are some artistic prodigy right out of the womb – until you know yourself, your craft may feel a bit unbridled and frivolous.

For those of you who don’t know your purpose in life (and if you even care) – we all have been given one unique thing in life. That one unique thing is yourself. If you spend your whole life trying to figure out who you are through the likes of other people, or by searching outside of yourself for answers, there will always be a sensation of feeling lost. If you feel lost, it is because you have not yet discovered yourself. Trust me, I know. I spent a good majority of my life feeling completely lost although I knew very well that I was a writer. Writing is just a tool that I use to channel my voice, but if I don’t know who I am, then how do I even know what I want to say? More often than not, I wrote from the point of view of other people, and a lot of times I plagiarized (in a sense) because I would read books and try to imitate those author’s writings and voices. My writing did not become organic until I took an interest in myself. When I decided to put down the bottle of booze and began learning to treat myself with respect and love, I discovered that my inner child (my soul) was the one thing I’d been searching for all along. I wasn’t lost simply because I was an alcoholic. I was lost because I detached from my essence when I was twelve. That innocent part of me simply wasn’t “cool” when I was trying to fit in with my peers, so I left her behind and molded myself into what I thought would be acceptable to others. I was a fish out of water trying to breathe in air. It never worked for me, but I spent over twenty years trying to develop lungs in place of the gills. This became incredibly gruesome in my thirties. People began catching on that I was a charade, so through the gift of recovery, I made my way back into my natural environment. Here I am now without a doubt of who I am and what I am doing while I am alive. I got to know myself, you see, which is an ongoing process. Each human being is an entire universe. Explore that universe. Discover your essence. Be a physicist and get to the bottom of yourself where you will discover that you are everything. This is the purpose of your life. This is what we should all be doing.

To “know thyself” is a powerful statement of action. It sounds a bit self-centered, doesn’t it? But truthfully when you come to love yourself in a genuine manner, you learn to practice compassion for your faults. You learn to not take yourself so seriously, and you chuckle instead of condemn yourself for being human. This self-love is a gift to others because once we know who we are, we understand who each human being is and we are able to love our neighbors with the same kind of compassion as we have for ourselves. Jesus knew what he was talking about too, when he gave that one commandment to “Love God with all your mind, your heart and your soul, and love thy neighbor as yourself.” To honor yourself is to honor your Creator, and to love yourself, is to love God. To love yourself is to love others. This statement Jesus made was symbiotic. Love is circular – global actually. The universe was created in love, and everything in the universe is cyclical. On a smaller scale, this love we learn to have for ourselves has a cyclical effect on those around us. It is the ripple effect we so often hear about (one act of kindness extends out unto the world).

What does it mean to “know thyself?” Yes. Continue asking this question and allow it to lead you to the answer. The only thing we all should be doing, is being ourselves. This is the soul purpose of each human being. We come to earth in this body. We leave the body behind when we die. In the meantime, we should know that our body is a temple – the dwelling place of our essence (our soul). The human body should always be searching for its beautiful soul while it is alive. Remember in ‘Finding Nemo’ how Dori forgot who she was, and Marlin was there to remind her. This relationship between Marlin and Dori was a beautiful analogy of the dance between the body and the soul. Keep re-connecting to yourself and discovering who you are. Align with that essence and unify with that inner light. We all have it. That light will lead the way (just like Dori intuitively lead the way for Marlin), and you will never feel lost again. Remember when Dori told Marlin that he just “felt like home?” Yeah, Pixar is pretty deep. Going home has nothing to do with entering heaven upon death. It has everything to do with the soul uniting with the body right now. This is the truth in the words of Socrates, “Know Thyself.” And the message of Christ, “Love Thyself.” More than anything – BE Thyself.

Wildflower

wildflower
In the vast field of life
I’ve chosen to be a wildflower
Not a blade of grass
nor an unwanted dandelion
I’ll not be confined in a yard
prided over by man
fertilized, groomed and watered
then heedlessly mowed down
by the same keeper
I bloom freely and upright
Beautiful and bright
I sway in the gentleness of the wind
and keep my face toward the sun

by J. L. Forbes

My Insatiable Thirst Was Finally Quenched

Fountain of Life
I walked through a desert for what seemed like an eternity in a perpetual state of thirst. I spent much of my time searching for a lake. I don’t know how I knew this lake existed, yet I was compelled to find it. There were signs leading me along. Usually I’d discover a hearty cactus with a sufficient amount of water that temporarily quenched my thirst. These random drops of sustenance kept me moving forward.

There were many moments in between cactuses where desolation besieged me. I was alone, with sand and heat as my maddening companions. When I thought I could go no further, I asked aloud for help. Right away I fell into a deep slumber. In the morning I was awoken by the warmth of the sun. As I opened my eyes, I saw an endless lake, which I couldn’t have overlooked before… yet I had.

“Where did this lake come from?” I asked aloud. I walked to the shore and took a long drink of the purest water I’d ever swallowed. I’d never known such satisfaction. When I was finished drinking, I caught a glimpse of my own reflection. What I saw was not what I expected to see.

It was from within me that the lake derived.

I spent my life searching water, yet all along…
I was a doggone fountain!

J. L. Forbes

Are You Aware of the Role That You Play, Or Are You Stinking Up Your Old Costume?

Stage
I’ve been changing it all up lately in the way I view things, including other people’s notions of “right and wrong.” The clarity is coming in strong. I am beginning to see everything in physical reality as a stage, while everything emotional is like the act, and then there are the actual players upon that stage. When everything is said and done and when the curtain rolls closed, everyone takes off their costume and becomes who they truly are – well, not right away. The funny thing is, the players don’t always know that they are actors. They play their role so very well, that they believe they are actually the character on stage. They don’t even see the stage, or the curtain, and they go about their life boasting around in their heavy costume. At some point the seams begin busting and people start seeing right through them, but they don’t want to remove that part of themselves because it has defined them for so long. They have been “right” or “safe” inside that old stinky garment, although the play is over. When people start seeing through the clothes, the actor becomes defensive and scared. They try holding on to the role they have played all these years, but the world won’t allow it any longer. It’s time to get off the stage and step down from being an actor. Their role has been exhausted, and they were brilliant for that time they played that part, but it’s time to move on. It’s time to become a true star, you see.

I’ve watched people in my life who refuse to get out of their costume. Their costumes are full of stench, and people are no longer buying into the act, but they refuse to switch roles to suit the current act. Often I get this overwhelming sense of stagnancy when I am around them, but up until now I couldn’t place my finger on why that was so. I get it now. It’s very clear to me. Then there are those who are in the midst of shedding their costumes, but they are having an extremely difficult time letting it go, so they squirm, and struggle and when I am around them I notice that they are unravelling before me. They are very convinced that someone or some circumstance is causing their discomfort, or their anger, but from my perspective, I only see a person who is resisting change and growth. I want to hug them, but most of the time they see people outside of themselves as the enemy, so I have to stand back and allow them go through their process, no matter how long it takes them. It’s none of my business really. They may figure out a way to keep that darned costume on so that they can continue pointing fingers at the other players because that’s been such a comfort to them all these years. I move on because I know my role in their life has been exhausted – unless they choose to embrace the mirror that I am offering.

Sometimes I see myself as a wanderer who gets a glimpse every now and again into people’s acts. Once in a while I get a role to play, but it doesn’t last very long. Many times I’m just a person in the audience, but even that is an ever-changing role. The one thing I don’t do is get lost as a player any longer. I don’t buy into a belief that I am one thing or another. Each moment offers opportunity to be the star that I am in it’s wholeness, but when I am not able to be the star, I gladly give up the part to whomever shines the brightest in that moment. I have so much to learn, as we all do. We are all stars, often playing small roles. Some of us just haven’t given up those small roles because they are so incredibly comfortable. To take off the costume is a terrific struggle, because at that point, we’ve grown out of them and they are stuck on our personas.

It is good to know what role you are playing in life and not to get caught up in the belief that you are that role. People wonder why God would put us here upon this dense earth to struggle and to suffer. After all, life is very hard, and grief can be excruciating, but what if… just suppose for a moment that God was inside of each living thing, merely playing out a role, forgetting the very essence of him or herself so that God could re-experience the essence over and over and over through different facets. What if God played many roles so that God could struggle and resist, and finally surrender until God came back to him or herself, because that experience (enlightenment) is something you can only feel when you have forgotten who you truly are? Think about it. Meditate upon it. Allow it to consume you. Realize what role you are playing, and then understand what is beneath the layers of costume. Step off the stage once in a while and be the audience. Change is good. Stop resisting. This life is not as serious as we make it. Circumstances are here to offer you a new perspective. That’s all they are, so stop buying into the act. We take ourselves so seriously. PLEASE – It’s all an act. The curtains will open and the show must go on, but once it’s over, you will be reminded of your essence underneath the costume.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JLForbes

Why Should I Enjoy My Life When the Whole World Seems to Be Falling Apart?

World Peace
We cannot deny the state of affairs in the world. Everything, from lack of water to mutating flus and diseases, unpredictable weather, wars and rumors of wars is occurring all around us. Just yesterday I heard of a tragic armed robbery in the town I grew up in, along with the news of the missile destroyed Malaysia plane with nearly 300 innocent people on board. Things are getting worse, not better. That’s obvious. The root of all our problems has been the same for thousands of years. It’s all about money and power. Leaders wage war on other lands to obtain rights to natural resources, and the common man murders a child’s mother to obtain some cash. It’s devastating to those of us that live our lives in peace just trying to do our part in the world. When we get these kinds of news stories, it feels like we are doing so very little to change the state of the planet. Recycling and being kind to others seem like small gestures that aren’t doing much good. What else can I do? We ask ourselves this question knowing that we can’t stop world leaders from being egotistical warmongers. We can’t bring water to India or Africa. We can only do our part, like we are already doing, while we hear of people suffering around the world, and of people being murdered.

I used to become very depressed because I felt so helpless in the grand scheme of things, but instead of paying attention to myself and the world around me, I self-destructed. When I figured out that my body is an entire universe, and that the world around me is given to me so that I can be responsible toward it, I realized that by changing my perspective and my attitude, life became much more bearable. In fact, I am incredibly happy and light-hearted now, even about the events occurring in the world. One thing I know is that there is a much bigger picture playing out than our eyes can see and our ears can hear. Something significant is happening on this planet that we cannot even fathom. A greater purpose is in the works, and we must understand that things must be broken down in order to be restored (recovered). The planet is in a state of denial, but soon, the people who are in charge will see that this way of greed and lust for money and power is no longer serving them. When all our resources have been exhausted and when the common people decide that we no longer want this hierarchy/minority way of life because we understand that everyone is equal in spirit, there will be a great rise of the people, and then a surrendering of the egos. We will begin shedding our old ways and we will recover.

For those of us who dream of world peace, we need to understand that we can’t have peace without breaking down the old systems, patterns, governments, religions and institutionalized ways of thinking. During this process there will be a time of upheaval. How do I know all this? Because as a human being I went through it on an individual level. Everything that occurs on an atomic level, is a reflection of what happens on a universal scale. There are seven billion of us right now witnessing a time of great change on the planet. This has never occurred before. Isn’t it ironic that there are more people on the earth than there has ever been during this intense time? Doesn’t it seem like perhaps we all wanted to be here for this great event? If you are spiritual like me, then you know that this one human life is but a grain of sand on the universal shore. We live several lives as our spirit journeys and explores. When someone dies, it is not the end of them. The ones who suffer are the ones who are left behind, but that soul (those souls in the plane) live on, and perhaps even come back here in another human body to assist the planet in it’s great metamorphous.

I’m not of the belief that a savior is going to come back in a cloud and save his people by removing them from what is occurring on the planet. I’ve met several Atheists over the last few years, who (by far) are the most responsible human beings I have ever known. It taught me a great deal about my own irresponsibility as a so-called “Christian.” I grew up thinking that I didn’t have to worry about what I was doing or how I was being because Jesus was going to take care of everything for me. He was going to take responsibility for me and remove me (along with the other Christians) from this horrific planet. When it occurred to me that this may not happen, I did a one-eighty in my life. I went through an incredible process of awakening. I had a dream that I was standing in a mirror, and there I reflected the Christ body. Christ wasn’t only within me, but Christ was me. This is not an egotistical “I AM GOD” claim. This is an incredibly empowering understanding I received, that changed my entire way of being. During that time I was also brought to a higher consciousness experience where everyone I encountered was me, and also, I was everyone whom I encountered. There was no separateness between human beings. We were all one. I was living with an Atheist at the time, who was one of the most considerate human beings I had ever known. She took complete responsibility for herself and her way of being because she didn’t believe that a savior was going to come and save her. She trusted that she was here to save herself. I got that, in a BIG way. If I am the Christ and the Christ is me, then I must be saved through myself and the second coming must be a great human awakening. Even if it doesn’t mean this, and I am wrong again, the one thing I got out of it is that I AM responsible for this moment, which is the only thing occurring. We can wait around for a savior, or we can realize that we are the savior. And that’s how I choose to live now. It was scary as hell to receive this understanding because I had never taken responsibility before, thinking that Jesus was going to do it for me. All along I had been negating my wholeness while awaiting someone else’s return. The truth was – all along I was waiting for me to return to myself. It also told me something, however, when I was afraid to be responsible. It said to me that I have been very irresponsible, which was ultimately a very ungodly way to be.

The bottom line is that in order to change the world, you must first change yourself. You must change your old patterns of thinking, break down your belief systems, shed old behaviors and get down to the place in yourself that is ultimate love and peace. Then, and only then, will you discover that the state of the planet is merely a reflection of the consciousness of the individual. Once we all begin waking up (which we are), so will the entire planet. In the meantime, there will be wars, tragedy and catastrophe, but such as the human being when it is making a great shift. When we are recovering from our addictions, it feels as if our world is caving in for a time, but as we move through it and continue recovering, we are eventually liberated. The planet is at the end stages of her denial. She will wake up and she will surrender, and by honoring your own self, by being joyful in the moment, and by taking responsibility, you are assisting her in her great metamorphous.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JLForbes

Seriously… Walk in Your Freedom, Man – I Mean, Literally BE SET FREE!

Be Free
Forget the past. I’m not kidding. The Universe does not refer to the past while it’s delivering the present. The PRESENT! Do you get it? Right this very second is a gift, and it’s not laced with anything that has to do with your past mistakes (unless of course you’re stuck in the past. Unless of course your thoughts keep taking you back there. Your thoughts create your experience. And if you don’t trust the law of attraction phenomenon, take one week to step out of your belief system and practice changing all your thoughts to positive ones. Shit, take a month – you’ll never doubt again). The question that has been stirring within me for the last year has been my very own demise toward receiving the magnificent gift of freedom. The excitement that fills me now as I write this – oh man!

You see, I did a little experiment this week after finally receiving my answer through a guest on my favorite radio show. First of all, my question was this:

“Do I need to drudge through all my past mistakes in order to receive the yearning of my heart? Do I need to really look at that stuff and tediously manage through everything? People always say that there are no short cuts in life, and though I’m not looking for a short cut, I somehow feel like I’m being held back from receiving. It’s like everything I desire is twenty feet away and I’m running toward it on a treadmill. Perhaps it’s because I was so irresponsible for so many years, and now I’m just paying for it. I deserve this, right? I deserve to struggle because I was completely irresponsible… is that how it works?”

The answer is this – Only if you so choose.

I decided to get of the treadmill. I decided that it can’t hurt to walk completely in my freedom for a week. So I pretended that I was not bound to my past (“act as if”) this last week. I unchained myself from my own repetitive thoughts. I stopped thinking – literally just stopped thinking about what I figure that I deserve. I stopped referring to my mistakes of the past; the way I handled things and how it’s affecting me now. This has a lot to do with money (if you haven’t already figured that out). I imagined taking off a metal cloak that has been blocking me from receiving. I laid it down on the ground, kept my head forward and trusted that I was set free from that ugly old thing. And guess what? I not only felt set free, I am set free. There is no past. The past is a big fat illusion. I’m not kidding. It’s like each moment that I walk in the light of my freedom, the universe is giving me a galactic sized hug. It’s saying “FINALLY! YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT! YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS! WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG!”

This whole time – this last three years – I’ve been walking in like three quarters of my freedom, with one fourth of me still stuck in the past because I didn’t trust that I was allowed to be so radically set free. I was punishing myself, and I accepted that I deserved to struggle. That was my thinking. Well, just so you know, the universe doesn’t think like that. In fact, the universe of ultimate abundance doesn’t think at all. It merely delivers.

All I can say right now, is change your thinking. Know that you are not chained to your past. Understand that you do not need to accept any kind of struggle. You do not need to suffer for your mistakes. Be aware of your mistakes. Take responsibility for your mistakes by acknowledging them – even write them down if it makes you feel better, but then really let them go and walk in your freedom from them. If you don’t trust this, then do a little experiment like I did. It won’t hurt you to change your thinking for one week. Once you realize that you are not bound to the past, and that you can have exactly the life that you want (that you are so deserving of), you won’t go back to that old way of thinking. This is about stepping out of your fear, into the light. It is about being set free (completely set free), and it begins with the way you think. Don’t be shackled to your way of thinking. Don’t let other people’s idea of how the world works effect your ultimate freedom. In fact, forget everything other people say. And one more word of advice – when magic starts happening for you, don’t expect the hammer to come crashing down. Disregard that old pattern of thinking too. Tell the hammer to take hike. Don’t invite it into your experience by expecting it to arrive. Be set free! Walk in the light of your life – starting immediately! AHHHH, it feels SO DAMN GOOD! FINALLY!