Turn that Frown from Longitude to Gratitude

Gratitude

I know… pretty annoying title, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed, annoyed and perfectly tired of people who spend their lives thinking positive. (Shame on them for not being “realists.” Life is not all unicorns and butterflies). Pretty easy to say things like, “Have gratitude,” or “Look for the silver lining…” when life is not twisting you up inside, but when you’re feeling homicidal or hostile toward the world, those little sayings are enough to make you actually pull the trigger, or to at least pull the blankets up over your head as you sink lower into the darkness. I get it. I understand pragmatism, realism, pessimism… (Murphy’s Law-ism). I’ve tried all these ways of “being” after my recovery peers made me feel like I was walking around with a rainbow up my ass, and my counselor told me to get my head out of the clouds. I decided to take off the positivity suit and to button up in one of those negative attracting gowns. You know the ones… They don’t allow any light in at all, because that would be a set up for my demise.

Okay enough joking around. This is going to be simple enough. Personally, after trying out constant pragmatism, and then feeling mostly frustration and annoyance, I decided to give positive thinking a real chance (without being delusional and ignoring the bad stuff. You can acknowledge the bad stuff, laugh about it, and not get sucked into it, however), and honestly, life began opening up for me in ways that seemed to move mountains in my life. When I was being cooler about life, life became cooler with me. People were nicer, I was able to laugh more, situations that used to boggle me were not that big of a deal, and better opportunities were knocking at my door, rather than me having to climb barbed wire to get what I wanted. I didn’t accept that life was one way. That to me sounded a lot like ignorance. When you are open to receiving, without judging what approaches, with an attitude of gratitude (yes I said it, so roll your eyes… whatever dude), there’s a real intelligence to this way of being. I know a lot of people say that when you’re positive, you set yourself up for disappointment, but that’s only true if you’re positive and expectant of an outcome. So the hell what if life disappoints you once in a while? That simply means that you have to change your thinking around outcome. Open yourself up to a bigger understanding of things. Perhaps you didn’t get that job because subconsciously you didn’t really want it, or maybe your child is acting out because your overall negative energy is causing an imbalance with the world around you. Cars break down, computers crash, people don’t pay attention when they are driving, but it’s your thinking that either causes you grief, or sets you free.

If I was a therapist, the first thing I would ask people when they came to me with a problem, is what their thinking and self-talk is around the issue. I would start from there, because after several years of experimenting with gratitude and positive thinking, I’m thoroughly convinced that the way I think, determines my life experience.

I’ll end with this. Yesterday was my first day at a new job. I went from part-time self-employment, to full time employment. The money is much better, but my mind told me that I was imprisoning myself, and that I would be overwhelmed and unhappy. The funny thing about that is – I believe that I attracted this job into my life because I was feeling restless at my other job, and bored. I need to feel challenged in my work. Anyway, yesterday I woke up feeling like there was a boulder sitting between my shoulder blades and I felt terrible going into my first day with the attitude that I was not going to be happy, so I did what any good recovering addict would do and I surrendered to how I was feeling. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Scared. Worried… I actually got down on my knees and thanked the universe for the new job and for the opportunity that was being provided. I especially asked for help and guidance, and I also asked to make friends, to be of service, and to allow me to be a light. “Shine through me,” I affirmed. “Let this job be an opportunity for me to grow, for me to attract people into my office so that I can build new relationships, and to help me be a positive and kind voice that they hear.” Saying the prayer moved me from my head down into my heart, and when I walked into my new office, I felt a sense of serenity. The entire day unfolded in a way that I can only describe as uncanny. Several little coincidences occurred, letting me know that I was in the right place. My office is up away from the main thoroughfare, but several people came up and introduced themselves to me. I was able to offer them a genuine smile, along with a handshake, and confidence in myself when I let them know what I can do for them. Some of them came back around to say “hello” again, and they even entrusted me with their files. I have a job where I’m supposed to be building relationships and trust. I am certainly not “imprisoned” in my new position. No one is hovering over me. I have complete independence throughout the entire day. I am so fortunate, and I know that this job is the next step in my life. The right one. It’s a big giant step in the right direction, but had I sunk into my negativity yesterday, I don’t believe that I would have had such a good experience. It truly is my responsibility to not just “think” gratitude, but to “be” gratitude.

How can I be of service? How is this experience going to help me grow (emotionally, spiritually, mentally)? What can I do to make this experience a good one, even though it feels terrifying? These are the questions I ask myself now. It is so important to me to make the most out of my life, and to feel amazing while I’m here, so this is why I choose to think positive, and why when I feel homicidal, I surrender. Instead of yelling, “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES…” I get down on mine.

Embracing the Things We Don’t Like Instead of Rejecting Them Will Liberate Humanity

Garbage

We don’t shun the darkness each evening when the earth rotates and the sun shines on the opposite side of the world.  Darkness serves a purpose and it is part of our daily experience.  We have no choice but to accept this experience.  I don’t think there is anyone travelling back and forth from Fiji each evening trying to keep up with the daylight.  That would be ludicrous.  Death is a part of life.  Darkness shadows light.  Weeds grow among the most tranquil of gardens.  Disease and health exists together on one planet.  If there is a positive charge, the laws of physics tells us that there is also a negative charge balancing everything out.  On this dense physical plain of existence, we cannot separate Yin and Yang, so why do we constantly label everything as “good and bad” and then try to reject the “bad?”  It sounds a lot like chasing the sun to Fiji everyday.  It’s insane.

We think the world has problems because of the choices that people make (freewill), but the problem is so much simpler than this. Freewill is a gift to each and every human being, so to limit people on what they can and cannot do based on our own freewill of an idea, opinion or belief we harbor, creates much more discord than it does any sort of good.  It creates bias, judgment and separation from compassion, or Source (God).  If God is all there is all and there was, and all there will ever be, then where does “evil” even derive from?  Evil is merely man’s illusion of separateness from his/her creator.  It is nothing more than an idea that we are distant from our source.  The more we delve deeper into an idea that we are separate from our creator, the more “evil” we create, but this dark part of our existence is merely part of a bigger whole.  There is truly no separation or “evil vs. good.”  This is just what we experience on a physical level because we have a very limited perception here.  We cannot see the whole. We are constantly trying to make things better by ridding the world of the bad, but this has never worked.  Negative and positive exist together to create a balance.  You cannot separate the whole, or rid the world of one without the other.   

Contrast is needed in order to experience wholeness.  This human experience is a way for the soul to travel “apart” from its source in order to find its way back to its source.  It’s merely a game of hide-n-seek.  It’s our Source’s way of self-discovery – a cosmic scavenger hunt if you will.  The insanity of humanity is that it believes it is fragmented, so we tend to focus on changing the things we don’t like instead of embracing the wholeness of life, which includes both negative and positive as equal polarities.  In my own human experience, when I am embrace my so-called character defects instead of resisting them, they magically morph into my greatest assets.  This is the key to re-discovering our wholeness – first on an individual level, and then on a planetary level.  Realizing our wholeness and operating from a place of compassion will restore harmony.  Resistance is our source of dis-ease and “evil.”  Acceptance and compassion is the key to restoration (recovery), and to heal humanity in its “fallen” state.

For more information, read this incredible book:  http://www.amazon.com/God-I-Am-Tragic-Magic/dp/0646052551/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410186738&sr=1-1&keywords=god+i+am+from+tragic+to+magic

Recognizing Stressful Sitations as a Process for Inner Awareness

woman meditating on rock

WOW it’s been a week!  Too much going on, yet no way to slow it down.  I don’t know what planets are aligned where or if Mercury is in retro-freaking-grade, or if Gemini is being eclipsed by whatever, but I feel like a frigging tennis ball.  Friday finally approached, just before a three day holiday I’m having with my family out on our private river island (oasis from this hellish week), and it turns out to be the most stressful day of all.  Unexpected twists and turns – a roller coaster of a day and evening, and none of it was fun, except when I finally sat down in bed last night and saw a really funny FB post.  Laughter certainly eased my anxiety, but then there were the dreams.  More stress, twists and turns and then I found myself purchasing a big bottle of god-knows-what at a liquor store. Drinking dreams.  They’ve come up a lot this week.  The worst ones are so realistic.  I drink and actually feel drunk.  I smell the booze and the next day I cannot recall anything from the night before.  It’s all too realistic for me.  This morning, my nerves are like the tattered strings of an old violin.  I’m spent. 

We all go through off-days and off-weeks.  I haven’t had anything like this come up for me in such a long time that I actually believed I’d transcended chaos.  Ha!  It’s good for me to know that I’m still in the running for Gandhi’s successor (I am so just kidding – trust me I really need sarcasm as a crutch today).  The truth is, I stopped looking at physical situations as “reality” and have come to a place where I understand these situations arise so that I can actually feel what’s going on for me – the inner reality.  I’ve been in fear all week.  I mean, anxiety central right here.  It hasn’t been constant, but there have been several occurrences that have brought up so much fear in me that I could not even pretend to be at peace.  And thank god for that.  I don’t like being delusional about myself.  I want to know what’s really going on with me.  I want my awful ugly side to come up once in a while so that I can get a good look at it and remember that I am human.  Life is not a fairy prance.  It’s raw.  It’s sometimes terrifying, and it comes with unexpected cliff hangers.  I don’t particularly like being on the edge, but it keeps me real.  It helps the suppressed fears to bubble up so that I can shine a light on those fears and release them out of my body.  These twists and turns are like physical exfoliation of my suppressed emotions.  Ugh, it sucks, but man I’m so grateful to be aware of myself, instead of thinking the world is coming up against me.  On the contrary.  It’s time for me to release some of this fear.  It’s time for me to be aware that it’s deep down inside of me.  It’s about time I faced it and had a little rendezvous with my old suppressed acquaintances.  The truth is, nothing BAD really happened this week, although a lot of things could have went “wrong,” and they still could go “wrong,” but now that I’m aware of my fears, I can easily accept any “wrong” that does happen because it isn’t the situation occurring.  It’s truly about facing those fears that come up when those situations bring it on.

I’ve been in jail.  I’ve lost everything.  I’ve faced the entire world on the Oprah show regarding a traumatic DUI involving my child.  People probably wonder why I’m so open about my life and my break ups and all the other shit that comes up for me.  I’m not afraid of other people’s judgment.  That’s LONG gone.  Don’t care what people think about me when I’m being true to who I am.  What I am afraid of, are other things that came up for me this week.  So it’s good that they came up for me through the mirror of physical reality.  I’m quite aware of my fears right now, and I’m not beating myself up for how I feel or my mistakes or for simply being human.  I’m merely taking a good look at myself and asking for guidance as I continue along my path. 

If you’re having a bad week, or a terrible month, or you just can’t seem to break the funk – take a good look at what’s coming up for you.  Take a real good inventory of those arising emotions.  That’s where the focus should be.  The outside stuff will work itself out.  Just keep looking inward.  This is where we need to keep our focus.  You wanna change the world?  Or at least YOUR world?  Well, keep working from the inside out.  Eternal peace often needs to rid itself of suppressed fears, so love yourself enough to allow those fears to dissipate through the mirror of physical reality.  For me, it all started with an earthquake at 3:00 a.m. last week, and here I am almost a week later still having a lot of anxiety.  Good for me.  I’m not anywhere near a place of arrival in my recovery.  It’s a good reminder that I only have right now and right now needs my full awareness and attention!  Never perfection – ALWAYS progress…

The Wayshower’s Way

Beacon Light

To shine the truth on others

Truth must shine from me

They’ll listen if the truth

Is what they what they truly seek

 

When the door of truth knocks hard

Deep within their soul

They shall seek out truth in those

Who walk in kindness whole

 

The road to Truth is narrow

And buried deep in script

Very few will find the path

On words they will be tripped

 

Be a beacon light

Not a foghorn loud

Be the stillness standing firm

Rejected are the proud

 

Speak not with condemnation

Emanate with love

See yourself in others

Over them you are not above

 

The thing we come to do on Earth

Is to learn the “I AM” way

Choose fear or choose your freedom

Be confused or learn to play!

 

J. L. Forbes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Day – New Beginning

New Beginnings

Nature is the greatest example of “how to be.”  Nothing in nature (besides human beings) worries about what comes next.  We are the only species that has the ability to embody fear indefinitely.  Some of us walk in the darkness of our fear without even knowing it.  But if we look around and see how the plants and animals live in harmony, we will notice that they are in a constant state of trusting their environment in a state of being present.  They thrive from the offerings of the earth and they don’t worry.  They innately know that they will be given all that they need.  This is a great lesson for all of humanity.

I wake up as the sun is rising and it is a beautiful reminder that each day is a brand new beginning.  The crickets and frogs pass their symphony onto to the birds.  The darkness is relinquished as the sun moves her dance to this side of the planet.  A morning dew refreshes the plants, and we wake up again.  A fresh start is offered to each living creature. Tomorrow does not exist.  Yesterday is long gone.  The thing that we are generously given on a constant basis is NOW.  The only thing that takes us out of now, is our labyrinth of thoughts.  We wake up with regrets, worries, plans, ideas and often we rush through our mornings to get somewhere on time.  We lose ourselves throughout our day, and forget to touch, taste, see, smell, listen, laugh… feel.  We forget these gifts of life because we think that life is a car, a job, parenting, wearing the mask of professionalism, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, finding out what’s on the news… etc.  I’ve got news for you.  Real news.  There is a whole universe you are missing out on while you’re engrossed in the surface of life.  The whole universe is you and this very moment.

I used to think life was incredibly boring.  I was so bored that I despised even being here, and there were times when I looked forward to death.  If I wasn’t bored, I was terrified, which is even worse.  How did that all change for me?  Well, first because I yearned for it to change, and second, because one beautiful morning in 2011, I woke up with the sunrise and realized that it was all I had, and it was all I ever needed.  There was nothing other than me and this moment.  That was it.  That was always going to be it.  How refreshing.  How thirst quenching.  How simple and incredibly profound.  So here I am.  Here you are.  Wake up.  It’s a new day.  Embrace the new beginnings rather than embody your fear.  Let go of the need to control outcome and take it all in, because this is all you have.  This is all you ever have.  Thank God for that, because it is so perfectly uncomplicated – this right here, right now moment.  The whole universe (you) is encompassed in today.  Isn’t that something to behold?

Cast Your Nets to The Right Side… (Say WHAT)?!

Cast Your Nets

It has been assessed that we are between 50 – 65% water.  Isn’t this interesting considering we appear to be quite full of mass (especially in America – ahem)?  It has also been determined that while a storm creates chaos in the ocean, nothing down below the surface is unsettled.  The fish and mammals are 2000 leagues under the sea having a tea party with Ariel the mermaid and none of them are shaken by the ocean’s fanatic waves.  Have you felt overcome by the callous storms of life, yet experienced yourself genuinely calm?  Or are you one of those types who sways uncontrollably on the surface of life and heeds to the motions of storm?  I used to be the latter – a buoy flopping around the tides of my life, but there came a time when I decided to move deeper into myself.

It amazes me that nature teaches us how to be.  We get so wrapped up in what’s occurring outside of our bodies that we often forget that we have the ability to center ourselves within.  We leave ourselves behind and take on the form of outside situations.  If drama stirs up, some of us sway with it and get snagged in the nets – like unsuspecting fish.  Several years ago when I was learning how to live in “the power of now” I discovered this truth about the water beneath the surface being still no matter what.  I decided then that I would learn to tap into my own inner stillness, but how do you do this?  What is the key to steadying yourself in the deeper part of the waters?

The answer to this was written as a story in the Bible.  This story is taught over and over, but sadly it is taken literally.  The disciples were fishing on the sea of Galilee all night long and caught nothing.  In the wee hours of the morning a figure comes to tell them to cast their nets “to the right side of the boat.”  They obey the voice and to their delight, their nets are completely filled with fish.  What does this have to do with the inner stillness, you may ask.  Well, it goes right along with that other story where the same disciples were freaking out in the boat because of a storm while Jesus was sleeping peacefully.  With one motion of his hand and a voice of affirmation, the waters are immediately calmed. 

When there is a situation occurring that seems out of control, we usually tap into our calculating side and try to figure out a way to solve the problem.  Many people are completely locked into this logical side of themselves.  Most jobs are left-brained conditioned.  Public schools condition the left hemispheres of our brain in order to create a working class society.  If you are stronger on the left side of your brain, you are probably not a creative type.  You are rational, analytical and objective about life.  You probably disregard intuition or the idea of a non-physical dimension of reality.  In other words – what you see is what you get… so deal with it.  Anything else (you might say) is delusional.  You like “reality” and you accept reality without faith.  You like facts, you go along with statistics, and you probably buy into the idea that things are a certain way, so it is no use thinking outside of the box.  The left side of our brain is fear based.  The left side of the brain is the dwelling place of the ego (a.k.a. the devil).

Many of us get trapped inside the box.  We are creatures who succumb to our five senses (touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing…), but what about that “feeling” side?  What about the 65% ourselves that is water (a.k.a. emotion)?  What do you think it means to “cast your nets on the right side?”  Do you think this is really about obedience, or fish.. or do you think there is something to the words “the right side?” 

The right hemisphere of the brain is the least conditioned part of ourselves in this left-brained thinking society, yet it has the potential to see beneath the surface of life.  It is the intuitive part of our being.  It is creative.  It sees the whole, rather than the parts.  It is open to interpretation, rather than convinced.  It is subjective and it thinks “outside the box.”  It is ruled by freedom, rather than fear.  It is the dwelling place of the spirit (a.k.a. God).

When I was learning to tap into the stillness of myself, I shifted from my left-brained thinking self, and moved into the right hemisphere of my being.  I began trusting in something I could not see, and feeling my way through life instead of taking things at their face value.  What I discovered is abundance (fish).  Prior to the abundance, there was desolation in my life.  I was empty.  I grew weary and I had nearly given up, until I understood that I had been living on the surface of my life rather than tapping into the deeper part of my being, where life flows, rather than flings me around on it’s unpredictable waves.  We can all do this.  It is up to you.  Everything is a choice.  No matter what goes on in your experience, you have a choice to fish from the left side of yourself where their are limitations, or to move into the abundance of yourself where life is limitless.  To break it down simply, we can take one scripture from the Bible.  In the eloquent words of Christ, “Choose ye this day whom ye will serve.”

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_17?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=the%20power%20of%20now%20by%20eckhart%20tolle&sprefix=the+power+of+now%5C%2Caps%2C493

We All Share a Longing for the Same Thing

Feeling Good

It’s so easy to pick apart someone else’s life and to see where they may have gone wrong, or to point a finger at something they are doing with which we don’t exactly agree.  After being such an incredible f*ck up for so many years, and then bouncing back into myself and following the path of my dreams, I have become humbled in the way that I observe other people.  I mean, who am I to judge?  Seriously.  But I’m certain because of all of my past shenanigans, that a few people still judge me by my past mistakes.  It may take several more years for me to rise up from the ashes in other people’s eyes.  Thank god I don’t worry about what those people are thinking as I move freely about my life these days.  We all have skeletons.  And the one thing I think about quite often is that no one truly knows what it was like to walk in my shoes.  No one knows how deeply I hated myself and how lost I truly was.  No one knows the struggles I faced and how hard I was on myself during that time.  And certainly no one knows WHY I went through that difficult time.  It was all part of my own path, you see.  And it was part of my children’s path too.  Take a little side-step with me for a moment…

If life is merely an experience, and we are all here on a journey of the soul, then why do we get so locked in on how things are supposed to be in the physical realm?  I was talking to someone this weekend about how most people are very controlling (present party included).  It is easy to see this about yourself when you are in a relationship, or parenting children.  We all want things to be a certain way, but why is this?  What is it about getting our way that makes things better?  For me (I’ll speak for myself here), if I’m getting my way or getting what I want, or having things done the way I like them done, it makes everything feel safe for me.  It gives me a feeling of relief.  And the very bottom line is that I feel much happier when things are done my way.  (Ah-ha!)

We all want to feel happy.  Who doesn’t? (Duh).  But when everyone is running around trying to control the surrounding world so that they feel happy (i.e. content, safe, secure, relief), then someone (a lot of people) are going to get their toes stepped on.  This is how arguments are cultivated.  This is how wars begin.  Everyone wants things to be a certain way.  It’s kind of a funny thing if you really think about it.  And this extends outward too.  When we observe other people doing things in a manner that wouldn’t make us happy, we label it as “weird” or “not right” or “strange.”  Why do we put so much emphasis on what other people are doing?  I had to really look at this in myself, and get to the bottom of that judgment of mine.  I discovered that most of the time when I was judging someone else, it was because I was jealous of their life experience.  It would make me feel so much better about myself if that other person would just remain within the margins of my life experiences.  Perhaps for others, people are pushing the boundaries of your own personal limitations and it makes you feel uncomfortable.  This may not be the case for you, but I would still question where the discomfort derives from.  It’s good to know this about yourself, because it paves a path toward self-awareness, which builds a foundation of letting go and being present.  In the present moment, I don’t have a problem with how other people live their lives.  I don’t focus on what my ex-boyfriends are doing.  I don’t get myself twisted in a knot over how amazing other people’s lives are compared to mine.  In fact, when other people are doing what I wish I was doing, I thank the universe for putting them into my experience so that I can get a clear vision of what I want in life.  It is good to have an image to focus on in order to create a path toward our desires.  Knowing people who are “living it up” is like having a animated vision board.  It’s pretty amazing.

If others are doing things in their lives different from how we do them, and they are not causing any harm to themselves or to others, then we should observe their joy, rather than point at their demonstration of that joy.  Or, you can do whatever you want, but what I’m learning in life, is that we all express ourselves in different manners, and we all demonstrate our path toward happiness in very different ways.  The demonstrations of the path toward happiness is like a shell.  When you look inside of that shell, you will see that most people in life are simply trying to feel happy, and we all demonstrate this in so many different ways.  Some of us (like me) who had a very difficult time sustaining that happiness – we end up imploding on ourselves and self-destructing.  But in order to truly find my joy, I had to go through that stuff.  It was all part of my experience.  Some of us take the full swing on life’s pendulum in order to get a full perspective.  And because my children were part of my life experience, they have been given a much broader perspective too.  Perhaps they needed that kind of experience in order to move quickly through things that may have taken them years.  I have no doubt that my two children are very focused human beings now because of the chaos they have endured.  They are stronger, they are wiser and they have learned a lot about forgiveness at a very early age.  They also know exactly what path they do not want to follow.  It is important to know what we don’t want in order to go for what we do want.  No one can look in from the outside of my life with my children and see the whole of the picture.  There is a lot playing out that you cannot fathom from being a mere spectator.

I think it’s beautiful that there are so many ways to demonstrate our experience of joy and happiness.  To look at it from another perspective, think of how there are so many different kinds of sports.  In each sport, the main objective is to win.  There are other reasons we play sports, of course, but we all do it so that we can experience a victory.  If victory is the main objective, then what does it matter what sport we play?  Wouldn’t it be an ignorant thing to say, “Oh, he plays football instead of golf.  What a jerk!”  But we don’t say that because we understand that people are all drawn to different sports.  Same thing with religion.  The objective of religion is to have a closer relationship with God.  Bottom line.  So why do we judge another person’s demonstration of their path toward God?  It’s ludicrous.  And if you are an artist who likes to paint, I doubt that you are making fun of the photographer, or scoffing at the writers in the world.  There are many paths to our passions and joys.  Who are we to say that someone else’s path is wrong?

Likewise, if people are doing things we don’t exactly understand, we can at least agree that whatever they are doing probably brings them joy, which is the main objective.  And if what they are doing is wreaking havoc on their life at the moment, we should understand that this is probably their own personal path to discover sustainable joy in their life.  They may be killing themselves to get there.  They may struggle and harm other people in the meantime, but rather than judge them – pray for them.  For whatever reason, those people that they are causing harm toward, have attracted that kind of “negative” experience into their life as well.  Everything is connected.  We attract experiences and people into our life in order to grow spiritually, and we may have agreed to encounter these experiences prior to even coming into this human form.  When you observe someone who is serving him or herself with temporary pleasures, you must realize that they too, are ultimately desiring happiness, but perhaps they have yet to tap into that sustainable joy (which we all desire). 

We are all having a human experience while we are here.  We all need assistance along the way.  We all want guidance because it’s difficult to see the forest past the trees.  We all want the same exact thing – happiness.  Give people a break.  Live your life the way you enjoy and compassionately allow others their freedom of expression.  Live and let live, man.  It’s a much more joyful and liberating way to be.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JLForbes