The one game I am terrible at is Limbo. Sadly, I’m not limber enough to limbo, but I’m talking of the physical game here, not the mental/emotional one. I was the champion at the mental one, except it never got me anywhere (um… because the mental/emotional game of limbo keeps you stationary), so there was no true championship. Reality limbo is like a stagnant river. Everything just gets swirled into that one place of non-action until it eventually stops the flow, and begins stinking to high heaven.
On my morning run this week, I noticed a new sign sitting up on a chair at this shabby/chic store that I love. It says, “WAKE UP AND BE AWESOME!”
I saw this after making the decision that I wasn’t going to waiver any longer when it came to making decisions. I have spent the last several months wavering back and forth about so many things. It has become incredibly exasperating. I’m the kind of person who wants concise answers about things. Just give me the damn bottom line. Tell me what to, where to go, who to talk to (how not to pick up a drink). Give me solid lines, man. But something has changed for me since I’ve been in recovery. I’m more about feeling my way through life, rather than thinking my through it, or making decisions based on logic. And this is a huge shift for me because I’m an “all or none” type of individual, and when you’re feeling your way through things, lines can get kind of blurry. I think this has been my problem lately. Logic tells me one thing, and my gut tells me another. So I’m in limbo, but when I made a decision earlier in the week to follow my gut, and then I saw this sign, it was like the bulb in my head ignited. It’s not about what I do, really. It’s about how I feel while I’m doing it. If I make a decision to “feel awesome” per say (and I have made this decision, btw), then I’m focusing my energy inward, which will project (create) an outward physical reality that is pretty f-ing awesome.
It’s true. We get caught up in physical reality because it’s solid, but we forget that there is a whole universe occurring right inside of us, which actually projects that physical reality. If you’re not paying attention to yourself, life seems pretty random, but if you are self-aware, everything that unfolds before you is thoughtfully developed by your well-trained thoughts. I have literally “thought” people out of my path by not thinking about them at all. By basically telling the universe that I don’t want to have the experience I’m having with them, I’ve rid negative people out of my life. I do it all the time. I just don’t give attention to those people, or I give them direct attention to move it on out, and they go away. I know I can do this with everything. If I need more money, I focus on money coming in, rather than dreading what I don’t have right now. If I want more friends, I open myself up to that experience, instead of basking in my loneliness. We all have the power to create our experiences by focusing on what we do want in life. The bottom line (ah… here it is), is that we essentially want to feel good. In order to feel good, you have to have a positive attitude, no matter what’s occurring. So what does this have to do with limbo? Everything.
It’s all about waking up and saying, “I am going to feel awesome today.” I’m going to put my all into whatever it is I’m doing. If I made a decision to remain at my job, then I’m going to get focused and work hard. If I made a decision to be in this relationship, then I’m going to give it my all. If I made a decision to get out of this relationship, then I’m not looking back. If I decide to lose twenty pounds this year, then I’m NOT going to screw around with sugar and carbs. If I do binge out on Twinkies, then I’m going to feel guilty. My goal is to feel awesome, so screw that Twinkie (do people even eat those things anymore?).
I know this is easier said than done, but if you’re focused on how you feel, rather than spending a great amount of time focused on physical reality results, then the results will reflect your awesomeness. It truly will. I know for a fact that I feel amazingly awesome after I finish writing a blog, or while I’m plucking away at another chapter in a book, so why would I study for a real estate exam in order to sell houses because that’s a more “logical” course of action? For years I’ve gone back and forth with this. The other day I was like, “You know what? I don’t feel as awesome when I’m spending my energy on my real estate career, like I do when I’m writing a book.” The only thing I truly care about is writing books. Do they make a lot of money? Not yet. But I haven’t even given it a real shot because I’ve been in limbo this entire time. I realize now that I haven’t focused my energy on my writing like I could. Even if it takes me a decade to make a living writing, it is that worth it to me, because I feel so incredible while I’m writing. Nothing else gives me that feeling of awesomeness. You know what I’m saying?
So where am I placing my energy from here on out? On this thing that makes me feel awesome. I know (because of extensive experimenting and experience) that once I go for it, my physical reality will unfold to match my alignment with who I truly am. This is a law of nature. I may not end up a millionaire, or a homeowner, or a Tesla driver (not right away anyway), but I will definitely be a happier person, and I think I made the point that the way we feel, is so much more powerful than our physical reality (which will eventually reflect the way we feel).
If you’re in limbo about something (or several things), then take a moment and think about which direction makes you feel awesome. If one way is a gamble, yet you feel exhilarated thinking about taking that chance, and the other way is you settling for less because it’s a much more comfortable decision, then go for the awesomeness. You don’t have to give up everything on the comfortable side to follow the path of awesomeness. You simply have to make a decision to place more of your energy toward feeling awesome. At some point, that comfortable place will become uncomfortable and it will naturally fall away. It all about where you place your focus, and your focus should always be within (or you will surely do without). (Right about now, my son would roll his eyes and shout, “Mom, stop saying AWESOME…”)